I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
