I'm going to jail i love you
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
