I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
