i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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