You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
