we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
