i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
