He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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