Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
