Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
