I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
