"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
