he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize