Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.