I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize