I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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