I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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