He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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