You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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