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Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
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