I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
