he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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