chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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