So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
