she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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