I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
