Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize