so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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