the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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