i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
