What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
