It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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