So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
