just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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