you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
