he wants to bone in the snuggie
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
