Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize