I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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