How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
