saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I puked a lego.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
