and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize