i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize