ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
