Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
