I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
