ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I will be naked everywhere
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
