I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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