Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
