Got a toothbrush?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
