He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
