Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
