Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
