walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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