This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
