She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
