i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
