whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
