so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
